Most other breast cancer blogs I follow seem to seem to be written by bloggers currently in treatment, and once the blogger gets several months out from treatment, they move forward on to other endeavors, quit blogging, and I assume they have moved on from cancer.
I wish to clarify something; yes I am about a year out from treatment and am just now starting to blog about cancer. Because of this, it may seem I am not moving forward, and that may be so, but it is a little simpler than that.
The truth of it is, I just did not have time for it while going through treatment. I worked part time while going through chemo, approximately 4 to 5 months. About a week after my lumpectomy, I returned to work full-time, while still in treatment with radiation and infusions of Herceptin. And I worked for a non-profit arts organization, so full-time often exceeded the average 40-hour-per-work-week. I spent a lot of time interacting with the public, and writing on a computer. Plus, I did some pet care on the side for friends! So, on my downtime, I did not really do anything other than rest.
Realizing I was miserable in that job almost a year ago, I left it to turn the pet care lark into a real business, one that I could control, and take a little time to recover from all that my body endured in the previous year. It has been great, and I’ve finally had time to reflect on all the emotions I experienced while in treatment. Like many cancer patients, I did not feel the full extent of anger until after treatment, and I guess that is what is happening now, and I am getting it out of my system along with all the emotions I pushed down while I was trying to “do cancer right”.
Yes, I know I come off as negative quite a bit, but not all of the emotions or negativity is not “fresh”, and writing it all out is quite therapeutic. Will I ever get to a point in which I no longer need to blog? I hope so, and I hope not. As stated in a previous post, I hope my posts are helpful to those with similar feelings about cancer, and if so, I hope that I can continue to be helpful, whether as an advocate or blogger or whatever. I will move forward from cancer, but I vow to use the memory of the experience to help others as much as I can.
2 thoughts on “Why I Write (Right) Now”
I started my blog a little over a year ago and I’m an 11 year breast cancer survivor. So no, I don’t think it’s strange that you are blogging now. I was over-busy as well during my treatments ~ and frankly, back then, there was no blogging. So that’s why I’m doing it now.
Take it one step at a time…there’s a new normal for you to accept and by therapeutically writing your blog, you will find it, accept it and move on. In the meantime, you’ve got a friend in me. 🙂