On Loving a Sick Body

On Loving a Sick Body

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Author: Cancer Curmudgeon

Oct 2010 diagnosed with Stage 3, HER2+ Breast Cancer. Completed treatment Jan 2012. Waaaaaay over pink. Applying punk rock sensibility to how I do cancer.

6 thoughts on “On Loving a Sick Body”

  1. This has to be one of the most perfect postings I have ever read regarding self image, cancer, illness….it says it all and says it so beautifully. I would love to share it on another site for thyroid cancer, but will not do so without your permission….it is so strong and thought provoking that I got chills running thru my body as I read it. It is truly validating…thank you..

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  2. Thank you so much for posting this profound, beautiful blog from lux-fiam at http://lux-fiam.tumblr.com/post/57558102829/on-loving-a-sick-body. As a fellow Hodgkin’s lymphoma survivor and breast cancer survivor, her words truly moved me and deeply resonated, as I’m sure they will with so many others.

    She eloquently expresses something that I’ve been experiencing for quite some time now, but for which I could never quite find the words: “There are a lot of beautiful pieces of writing circulating the internet about loving your body and loving yourself…. All of the pieces emphasize how a healthy body is beautiful, and size or appearance or anything else is irrelevant because health is paramount. In no way do I think that this is untrue, but I do think it is very exclusionary…Fun fact: not everybody has a healthy body. Does that mean we have no chance at beauty? Are we not supposed to love our bodies because they are sick? The current literature seems to think so. But I disagree…I think it is completely possible to love your scarred body that might be missing a couple of organs or have a few artificial devices inside of it. In fact, I think we should make a point of loving our sick bodies. Raging against our illnesses ought not to make us rage against the bodies that house them.”

    I felt that way at the age of 22 when I’d just had a Port-a-Cath implanted for chemo for Hodgkin’s. I felt that way following the placement of my 2 coronary artery stents in my late 30s due to the damage from my previous chest radiation. And I feel that way now as I’m headed into some reconstruction repair 6 years following bilateral mastectomy/immediate reconstruction after being diagnosed with breast cancer at age 42. Like lux-fiam, I choose not to rage against the scars and artificial devices that I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life: they’re still here, as am I, and for that I’m grateful.

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    1. She is a great inspiration to me–I’ve reblogged her before, checkout my Worth Reading post.
      Given the discussion about weight/fat/size lately (hello high end athletic wear place that doesn’t like women over size 8) all I’ve thought about is the blame the patient angle–comments on HuffPo indicate some folks think being over size 8 means you’re on heart attack highway and you deserve it.
      I might still blame my body for developing cancer, have not thought it out yet. I dislike that my nipple had cancer and is gone, but I love my tattoo (see Fables page) so not sure I care much anymore. I hate the overused saying it is what it is, but it really is, ha ha:-)

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