From Mopey to Dopey to Sleepy

Wow. It’s been over a month since I last posted, or even wrote. Last post, I wrote about how my ongoing recent health issues had sent me reeling back into my fresh-outta-treatment panic and blues. I’d started blogging in the wake of those initial post-treatment blues two years ago, to help rid myself of them. That had worked for a long while, and I was getting much better. But this regression motivated me to do the opposite. I just felt like any post I would write in the past month would just be infected with my mopey views.

So I chose to just try and do a little self-care. I took medications and started an exercise (stretching) routine to prevent muscle spasms and numbness. I figured out that the dizziness was caused by my old allergy medications suddenly failing to work. I had to get new ones, and adjust. So I was doped up for a little while and of course, some sleepy side effects ensued. I slowly started to feel better, to the point I actually had several consecutive days mid-July of total well-being, actual feeling normal (well, post-cancer normal wellness, anyway). I planned to get back to blogging, but first I wanted to take time to make up lost work time, lost fun time, lost beach time.

Then last week I got a wicked summer cold.

It is just endless—like my body insists on being sick. And I am sick of being sick!

All this time I have indeed been reading others’ blogs and trying to keep up at least a little bit, even if I didn’t have the mental energy to say much. I’ve been thinking and pondering. I always have opinions and thoughts, and hopefully, I’ll get my act together enough to return to blogging soon.

Until later, then.

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Author: Cancer Curmudgeon

Oct 2010 diagnosed with Stage 3, HER2+ Breast Cancer. Completed treatment Jan 2012. Waaaaaay over pink. Applying punk rock sensibility to how I do cancer.

27 thoughts on “From Mopey to Dopey to Sleepy”

  1. The title of your entry made me think you were writing about dwarfs but as I read on I got a better grasp: you feel like crap and you are OVER feeling like crap. Wish I could make it better for you. We appreciate that you even bother to read any of our blogs, much less make the effort to write your own. Hoping you feel better soon.

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  2. dear CC, it is always wonderful to hear from you, no matter if you have to take breaks now and then from the blog. just pounding out this post to give us an update must have taken effort – recovering from that nasty summer cold, on top of the new allergy regimen. just do all you need to do for YOU!

    much love,

    Karen XOXO

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  3. Hi CC,
    That whole self-care thing takes a lot of patience, persistence, practice and well, compassion for one’s self. Last summer my doctor told me I still wasn’t ‘over’ cancer treatment. Physically I mean and I’m not talking about side effects, just the treatment period itself. Hearing that was very validating and comforting. Sometimes I think we forget how much our bodies have been through and we forget how hard it is on this side of things too. Anyway, I’m glad to hear you’ve had some good days of late. And those summer colds are no fun at all. I think I’m coming down with one myself right now… Lastly, write when you can. We’ll be out here.

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    1. I have been pondering the idea that maybe I was not as recovered from treatment as I thought. I’d just been thinking–before this spring and all these symptoms started popping up-that I was finally feeling normal in terms of energy levels. I guess that is why I’m so disappointed and frustrated now, I thought I was over all this. Sigh. Am glad to know I am not the only one; thank you for letting me know! And thanks as always for the encouragement.

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  4. I was feeling really, really terrible and suddenly realized that the xanax I had been taking was being made by a different pharmaceutical company and used the same ingredients, just more of some of them, like stool softeners!!! I was effectively taking 4 stool softeners a day!! Having thyroid cancer, multiple stools is likened to either being hyper or hypo so was constantly changing my level of thyroid meds. Then I found an old empty bottle with a different Pharma on it and looked on line. Also different was the lactose (of which I am intolerant) and the bad generic and the brand, both had “alpha” lactose and the other pharma had “beta” lactose. Well, since I changed pharmas, it is like night and day… how horrible that companies can get away with that..I would like to say that’s why I hate taking generics because there is no oversight, but it’s also in the brand, although i don’t know what their levels are as I can’t afford it! I also caught that horrid ‘cold’ and was sick for weeks and on heavy antibiotics…it was awful…I never get sick but I did this time….I just started working/handling crystals as I am making things with them and to tell you the truth, between the change in pharmas and handling the crystals, I feel so much better, my mind is definitely SOOOO much clearer, and I am happier as a person.
    Best to you,
    Kerry

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    1. Isn’t amazing the difference in drugs, and how sensitive our bodies can be to the slightest changes? I learned that the hard way this spring. Hmm, I bet I should think about lactose as well, am sure that has an impact on me that I’ve never realized. Thanks for the tip!

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  5. As a blogger, you seem (to me) to be one of the strongest women I “know.” You’ve got the fire, compassion and expressive talent to rouse a crowd! Heck, you’ve inspired me on many occasions.

    So, be kind to yourself, you don’t have to follow any rules that say you cannot respond to your own under-the-weather feelings. Our minds and emotions suffer from all this physical crap we’ve had to endure and I think it’s very “real” to write about these down-times – they are a very real side-effect to our fight for health and I think, need to be included in our recollections of what we have gone through.

    Anyway, good vibes are coming your way! (Now I’ve got the Beach Boys in my head… Good, good, good vibrations!)

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  6. Sorry to hear you feel so crappy. I love reading your blog, but you need to concentrate on your own well-being right now. I am sending prayers and positive thoughts your way!

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  7. Thank you for sharing your heart and life with us/me! You remain an inspiration and worthy friend. I look forward to your continued writing in ‘your time’. For now IN-joy and take care.

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  8. Thank you so much for your candor. Self-care is so essential; it’s really what counts. Thank you for reading and commenting on one of my blog posts. Just take care of yourself and blog when you are ready. xoxo

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