Electronic Cat Database

“Our top story tonight concerns the Internet, AKA, the Electronic Cat Database” –John Oliver

Collective Soul Cat

Ain’t gonna lie: I’ve said I was too busy to write blog posts, but I’ve also just been too blue. I AM physically tired—lots of work, and as chemo and/or radiation recipients know, you are never quite “right” again. I used to have so much energy, but since cancer, I just have never felt quite as energetic. So yeah, at the end of the day, I just collapse—and marvel that I once went out to clubs after a work day (how? what?). But it’s more than that—I’ve been slightly depressed. I’m caught up in the 2017 horrific news cycle. I scan social media, save things to read later, but keep scrolling without going back to read—#FOMO in overdrive. I love being a good #Indivisible #Resistance member, but I am tired, as I suspect many are. So I have not taken time to attend to this blog, or even my CC Facebook page much lately. I gotta change that in 2018 (even though as a good Curmudgeon, I think NYE resolutions are total hogwash).

The threats to the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act have taken much of my attention this year, and will again next year. Coming in at a close second has been the Net Neutrality issues. That sort of surprised me—I mean I am one of those crazy lefties truly and deeply concerned that authoritarian rule is about to descend upon my country. I’ve been really upset about so many things, like the lying, the attacks on media, on immigrants, on, on, on—but the attacks on the Internet have really made me nuts. Yeah, yeah, I know, nothing has changed since the FCC vote a few weeks ago—but I know how these things go—it will happen incrementally, so we accept without notice. How will this impact my blog? Will people pay for access to WordPress blogs? Would I? I do think that packaging of things like FB/Netflix/Hulu/Twitter will happen. What will happen to Tumblr? Yeah, I know, Tumblr is for teen and twenty-something depressed girls or whatever. But it helped me back in 2012. Just out of treatment, just quit my 9 to 5 and starting my own business, post-treatment depressed—I fell into the fandom stuff there. I met people there. My first online cancer friend, Greg, who eventually died of Mets prostate cancer, was found there. My dear friends @angel-of-malahide and @toasty-hancock were there. So, I cannot imagine not having access to Tumblr, but my pragmatic self won’t “pay” for it. Hell, I just cancelled Netflix today—which was unthinkable years ago. But, I don’t have time for Netflix, so why pay? I used to be such a film geek this was unthinkable, but, buh-bye.

And this is the crux of it. Yes, I benefited from the in-person support group at my treatment center. But it was the online support that allowed me to truly recover, mentally. My support group was small and rather enlightened for all that we were in a rural area (I was NOT the only one pointing out pink lameness, or pointing out the sexualization). But it was online that I found my niche. I found The Sarcastic Boob. I was so honored and happy when Scorchy herself reached out to me via email (inspired a whole blog post because of things she asked me). I met Karen the Commenter. We had long email conversations. And then I met more and more. (Confession: started listing y’all, but stopped for fear of missing someone; started checking FB friends and I don’t think I need to explain how troubling it is to see names of the dead there). I became myself again. In short, without the Internet I would’ve been lost.

My point is—and I DO have one that I AM getting to—is that I am so grateful for everyone I’ve met via Internet. I’ve been lucky to meet a couple of y’all IRL. I’ve cut myself off a bit this year, and that has been a mistake. Granted, I cannot keep up the previous frequency of posts, but I’ve been TOO infrequent this year. I’ve missed the interaction. I am indeed am introvert, so it seems odd that I would miss interaction, but I do. In fact, not interacting becomes a bad habit. I get stuck inside my head too much, and that is NOT good. (Or maybe my head got stuck in the other place, hardee har har.)

As I think I’ve mentioned before, I don’t really celebrate the holidays, what with half my life being in the service industry, holidays are just times when life is too busy, and I’m usually working. When the holidays are over and the new year begins, that’s a better time for me. I kind of like the return to routine, the disruption of the holidays is over. I cannot help but think I am not the only one with this view. Anyone reading this live in a small town too? Anyone else have that one restaurant or fast food crap hole that the retired set like to hang out in every single morning? I know some of those folks, and I know they kind of like it when the disruption is over too. Maybe their families live too far away for a visit (or some other far less pleasant back story), and they just want to get back to the everyday comfort and joy their pseudo family provides. I can’t help but think the online community is like that. It is nice to see family—for some of us. But the families we’ve created here online in our blogging community, the people who “get us”, well, it’s good to get back to that too.  We all know that not all of our family members have been able to support us during the cancer in the way we needed. So we need this thing, this Electronic Cat Database, this Internet. (Also, for the cat videos, which I’ve mindlessly watched lately. A lot.)

So my sort of, cough cough, resolution (ugh), is to return. A return to writing, to reading, to commenting, to interacting. I need it.

Look out 2018!

 

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Author: Cancer Curmudgeon

Oct 2010 diagnosed with Stage 3, HER2+ Breast Cancer. Completed treatment Jan 2012. Waaaaaay over pink. Applying punk rock sensibility to how I do cancer.

10 thoughts on “Electronic Cat Database”

  1. 2017 sucked in so many ways, I think we all deserve credit for making any kind of effort at all. My webhost has messed with my ability to blog, and I wrote FB notes instead. Plan to try to start sorting that out tomorrow. It’s all too much sometimes. And Scorchy is gone, and I still can’t cope with that. [insert string of cuss words]

    xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ugh, I know I need to update this website, but the amount of focus and energy it took just to write this post was enough! 2017 was hard. I doubt 2018 will be easier–just gonna have to try harder I guess.
      I know you miss Scorchy. It’s all just too much to bear.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. We all miss Scorchy so much. I find many of my web pages are too complicated to fix properly. I am aware that I needed to take time to sort myself out. Be kind to yourself. Always. And in order to heal ourselves we must heal the healer. Hugs and xoxo – Susan Z. ❤️🐾🌈

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You are not alone. I get it. I feel so tired myself. I don’t even understand how I get myself to get up every morning and show up for work, to a very stressful environment. Then come home and do it all over again the next day. Plus everything else that’s going on, politically and at home.

    I also took on a new responsibility: fostering a kitten who I named Minou. As a matter of fact, she is with me right now trying to remove her cone and get out of her enclosure, which I intentionally keep her in so my older cat doesn’t hurt her. It has been difficult to try to make them get along. Any tips you have for me? My older cat is over 13 years old and the kitten is 6 months. Oh let me clarify, kitten was spayed yesterday which is why she is wearing a cone. I haven’t been able to find a home for her (but I am not really trying?) but wanted to take care of the surgery.

    We do what we can. 2017 was NOT an easy year for many reasons. The losses def. affected us all. I couldn’t even write a post about it, because I am still feeling down. I couldn’t get myself to focus. But welcome back! I have missed your posts. You do what you can and when you’re able to.

    Hoping for a kind 2018!

    Hugs.
    xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh thank you. I’ve been meaning to write a post springing off of one of yours a few months ago–but, sometimes, confronting tough stuff, I got a little “why bother”, ya know?
      Ooo tips of getting cats to get along–keep them apart as much as possible–and it will take a loooong time. My aunt got 2 kittens around the time she was first DX (a month before me in 2010). Her older cat still hates them, but they just all kind of live while avoiding each other. I think you saw the pic of one on my FB page, playing poker!
      Yes, a kind 2018–for us ALL! xo

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Hi CC,
    I am very pleased to read that you intend to keep hanging out with this online family we’ve some how managed to create. Try not to stress too much about the frequency though. I get the fatigue. We all do. Just keeping ourselves afloat in this turbulent time is a feat in itself. Every day I am afraid to turn on the news, but at the same time, I’m afraid not to. As you know, I’m an introvert too. So I will always prefer online interaction for many reasons. Like you, I am worried about the net neutrality thing, and I also worry that changes will come slowly. Sneaking in. I am very worried about how so many seem so willing to adapt and adjust and accept as normal some of the crap that has been happening in this country since, well, since you know when. So…blog when you can. Keep doing that resistance stuff. Keep doing whatever you need to do. And catch your breath when you need to as well. Just keep on keepin’ on. May 2018 be kind(er) to us all. xo

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes a kinder 2018 for us all–is what we need!
      You are soooo right about the scary acceptance of the subtle changes. I feel like chicken little screaming about tiny things–but, I know that is how things happen, incrementally. I just follow Amy Siskind as much as possible–thank heavens her stuff is gonna be a book soon, since I rarely have time to read her weekly thing. And hopefully the book will be audio–although I spend so much time on news podcasts, even that probably won’t work for me!
      Ugh, see how quick I spin?!
      Thank you for keeping in touch, will be anxious to fulfill your call about pets! A future blog post…
      xox

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I also blogged sparingly, mostly due to fatigue, but also distraction with other things, particularly the horrendous election. The deaths in our community are always upsetting. Glad to have you back. Here’s to a gentler 2018 but don’t hold your breath. See – I’m a curmudgeon too. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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