Can’t Flush, Er, Don’t Touch This

The only thing I miss about the cancer treatment center–everything automatic in the bathroom. I never had to push a handle to flush the toilet. I got soap and water simply by holding my hands out under the dispensers. Heat for drying turned on by holding my hands under the nozzle, or I could get a paper towel simply by waving my hands under the last towel poking out from the dispenser. It’s all there to avoid spreading germs. I like that.

I run into so many women who miss, absolutely miss, being in the treatment world. They miss the doctors and nurses, the care and the support. And I know it is a comfort to be in that care, because I know the paranoia of even the slightest ache or scratch being an early indicator……it’s back.

I do miss one of my infusion nurses. I miss her as a person, but I do NOT miss being in that chair. I like my oncologist, but I only want to see him every six months. Part of this is because I am not very sentimental. Part of it may be because of the Herceptin. I was stuck going there every 3 weeks for a whole year. I was pretty sick of it by the time I finished. And I never felt like I was leaving anyone’s care. These days I dislike going in the building, even for support group meetings, but especially for the six month check ups. I long for the day many years from now, when I no longer need ever enter that building again, if I can manage to stay tumor free.

But I do miss those bathroom conveniences. Every time I use a bathroom in a school, at the movies, the mall, ANYWHERE, I miss that cancer center bathroom.